Temper tantrums are very common for children around the age of 2. A tantrum expresses anger and frustration by a child who is unable to properly express themselves using words. Parents need to realize that this is just a phase, and if you learn a few strategies to cope with it, you’ll all be happier!
Young children between one and two are learning about their world, and how they fit into it. They can certainly communicate in some ways with their families, although they do have a limited vocabulary. Their motor skills are developing quickly, they are into everything, but they lack the understanding for things like ‘danger’ and how to behave in an acceptable way. They simply react to things at this age.
Depending on where this takes place, really the best thing to do is stay completely calm, ignore the behavior, and remove the child from the situation. This is especially hard when you are out shopping in a public place and your child starts to have a meltdown.
While it may be tempting to give your child a ‘treat’ or toy to get them to stop , so that people stop staring at you – do NOT give in to this. Otherwise you have just taught your child that if he/she yells and makes a fuss long enough – you will give them what they want. This is not what you want to teach them. You need to be prepared to just leave your cart, pick up your child and leave the store – even if you’re not done shopping! Your child will remember this lesson – rather than being rewarded for the negative behavior.
Your child is watching you for cues. If they are out of control, you must remain IN control. Talk quietly, tell them what you are doing and why, and this type of acting out is not acceptable. If your child is hitting you during a tantrum, restrain him from behind, or remove him away from you in a room and shut the door. Tell them firmly that it is not OK to hit you and that it hurts.
Some children hold their breath during a tantrum, mostly to get a reaction from you. Again, ignore the behavior – walk out of the room and they’ll quickly lose interest.
Don’t spank your child for having a tantrum, as this just teaches them that you hit when you are angry. When the tantrum is over, hug your child but give little attention to the acting out behavior.
Spanking won’t help.
When your child has a temper tantrum
Remove your child from any dangerous areas or surfaces when they could hurt themselves.
If you are driving and it is distracting to you, pull over until it’s over , or turn up the radio. Resist the urge to start yelling while you are driving and focus on the road.
Always stay calm yourself – take deep breaths , leave the room , shut the door behind you. You’ll feel better.
Remind yourself that this is a phase and it will pass.
When it’s over, reassure your child that you love them and give them a hug. It’s quite common for them to have exhausted themselves and may even fall asleep now.
Ways to Avoid Temper Tantrums
You can try to minimize the instances of tantrums happening in the first place if you try a few things.
The power of distraction is great for warding off potential melt-downs. If you recognize that your child is starting to get upset, sometimes a silly face or song or pointing out something outside the window is all it takes to distract them.
Make sure your child is getting enough sleep and naps. You may need to adjust your routine to get in an earlier lunch and nap if meltdowns seem to occur late afternoon , for example.
Offer healthy snacks, sometimes young children are just hungry!
Make sure that forbidden items are kept out of reach and out of sight. Make your home as safe as possible so that you aren’t always taking things away from your child that you don’t want them to play with – this can ease a lot of the frustrations.
Temper Tantrums Should Never Work
Make it a rule to never give in to your child’s temper tantrum – no matter where you are or who is around. Your “NO” must always mean NO – not maybe. If you give in to the behavior , you are confusing your child and not setting limits, as well as setting yourself up for future problems. You are the adult, and you need to not let loud behavior manipulate you.
Sometimes children will have a temper tantrum as a test of wills – them against you. Don’t accept the challenge. Stay calm, speak quietly , remove them from the situation, and whatever you do, don’t give in. This will only happen a few times and when they realize that throwing themselves on the floor and screaming didn’t result in getting what they wanted, it will lose it’s appeal.
Time Out’s for Temper Tantrums?
Time out’s for twin toddlers can work well. Babies do not need them, but sometimes YOU might, so it’s OK to put babies down in their cribs and shut the door and walk away.
If your toddler looks like she’s on the verge of a temper tantrum, pick her up and place her in a safe room and leave her alone. After the noise subsides, go back and ask her if she’d like to come back, or if she’s feeling better now. I ask my kids if they’ve got all their ‘grumpies’ out. If they are still yelling or acting out, close the door and come back later. Make sure not to make a big deal out the behavior as negative attention is still attention. Rather, give lots of hugs and attention later, once they have calmed down .
